Year 2030
(inspired by,
Imagining Internet – Netnandan Speedekani)
Imagining Internet – Netnandan Speedekani)
Facebook is declared a nation. Mark Zuckerberg is the president of this
online nation, controlling all the operations from Shanghai, China. His father
in law is very happy to have his daughter and son-in law home, as he was
already tired of chatting over WhatsApp & talking over Skype, that was conquered
by Facebook many years ago.
Jignesh Scrollkarni is living in the
capital, completely imbibed in the constantly changing status (not financial or
political, but social) of society and trying to keep track of it. Ever since he
left his job at Orkut Netizen Grievances Company (ONGC) and took job as a
full-time news reporter, his life changed forever.
A thousand more likes and
hundreds of friends quickly entered his facebook account and so were the
numbers in his bank account. Recently, I happened to visit his
home and I found his personal notes for the news hour script.
An excerpt from the same-
Buying the grocery, or any other
stuff for that sake, was never as easy before. A bunch
of coupons and some promo codes
would easily fetch a month's supply of grocery. For those who were below poverty line (the unfortunate ones who could not afford
monthly internet pack), government had started
issuing 'Udhaar cards'. A unique Udhaar ID would fetch monthly supply of McD burgers and Dominos
Pizzas. Newly appointed 'Feed minister', Updatesh Likewala has plans to
bring some change in the current system and to directly transfer the coupons and promo
codes to beneficiery payTM wallet. His plans are backed by President Zuckerberg and has
also allotted a stipulated budget of 1 million
coupons for the same.
Also, the PayTM bank is really
satisfied with the ever increasing balance of netizens in their 'Spendings Bank
Accounts'.
The public transport system is
handled by recently created department of Online Lucky
Aarakshan (OLA), under the able
leadership of hon'ble transport minister Shri Appa Installkar, who was a former CM at a southern
state. It was quite a modern facility where everyone is able to go to any place in a
very short time and a very cheap rate. Going from one website to another was never as easy before. It happens
just by a ‘cursory’ glance.
The nation also makes provision
for its minority population which uses Google plus. The servers operating the Google + network
were given extra police protection after the 'comment’al clashes between the two sects surged in
some states. The leader of minority groups Lara Pagare said in a recent interview that he is
going to demand more bandwidth as well as a greater allocation of advertisements in the coming
parliament session. He was also sulking over the alleged 'forced conversion' of the people
of his social media site. He winds up the meeting as he has to go to the sacred ritual of
updating status which is to be done 5 times a day.
A recent natural disaster in neighboring
country Twitteristan shook the entire nation.
Their servers crashed for 3 long
days and the entire population was in turmoil. Unable to update their status for 3 days, the
mental health of all its citizens was plummeting. But the netizens of facebook country were ready to
help, as they allowed the netizens on the other side of border to update their status from their
own account. The prime minister of Twitteristan Rameshwar Srivatsanam thanked Mr Zuckerberg
for their timely help and also twitted from his facebook account- " The servers are
'Down', but an 'Up'date is very necessary!"
The north eastern country of
Quorea is proving to be a military and economical threat to the world. The recent elections saw
plethora of upVotes to the leader of ‘Intellectual Party’, Mr BalaJivan Vishveshwarayya. He
will soon be forming a new government after successfully gathering support from the ‘Serious party’
candidates and other Lengthiest parties. The rise of Quorea has shocked many countries in its
neighborhood who had thought that it will never allow advertisements on its land. But
Quorea proved all of them wrong by quickly taking over the advertisement industry. Now, it
is the second largest economy after Facebook and its Gross Domestic Promocode (GDP) has seen
growth of 20% over the last one year.
With this, today’s newsfeed is
over. See you tomorrow, at the same place, same timeline.
Keep scrolling!
